'AdWise' counselling: ‘My ex-boss is hounding me'

Question: In 2017, I worked under a manager for a very short time. When I decided to move to a different project, he advised me against it. I, nonetheless, shifted as was agreed upon. A year later, I moved to another project. The manager, meanwhile, moved up the ladder rather quickly and became very powerful. Now, he is blocking my opportunities and wants me to be out of the current division as he appears to be holding a grudge against me for not heeding to his advice. I tried talking to him but that hasn’t worked. He is hounding me. What should I do?

Rituparna Chakraborty replies:

If one delves into the cause of the manager’s behaviour, it might help us to find a solution. Is it possible that when you left your earlier project, the manager had reposed faith in you and wanted more time for a smooth transition? Is it possible that you underestimated the repercussion your exit would cause to the team managing the project? Is it possible that you didn’t clearly explain to the manager what is attracting you towards the new project — in terms of learning and exposure?

Given that you are in a tricky situation, here’s the immediate tactical solution: Step 1: Engage with this manager proactively. The conversation must take place in a non-invasive and nonhostile environment. A polite reconciliatory message can be sent, inviting him to a coffee outside of work. It would be beneficial to begin the conversation by asking whether you have done anything wrong, professionally. If you erred inadvertently, you would like to make amends.

'AdWise' workplace counselling: 'I am being bullied, please help'^[1]

Are you dealing with a tough boss? Are your colleagues being mean to you? Is your workplace culture hindering your growth? Is there anything that's bothering you at work, which you're wary of discussing internally? Talk to us. Our panel of experts will assist you in resolving your workplace related matters.

Step 2: This step applies if Step 1 fails. It’s important to improve your performance and see that it is well articulated. When there is stiff resistance from someone in a position of influence, creating alternate strong allies and ensuring that all concerned know the value you bring to the table, is your best shield. I am not a big believer of pressing the panic button of escalation and running to HR without ensuring you have got all ends covered from your side first. This makes it difficult for someone to sideline you merely on a personal grudge.

Long-term solution: In the long run, it’s not your cognitive skills which will help you build a career, but your non-cognitive ones. Your ability to develop and nurture relationships and getting along (as against liking people) should be right on top of your priority list. Maybe next time, when you make a decision that affects you professionally, you could be more mindful, less hasty and more collaborative. Our ability to resolve conflicts and make trade-offs with honesty and transparency can build an incredible foundation for future growth and leadership. I am assuming that’s what you are striving for.
(Rituparna Chakraborty is executive vice-president & co-founder at TeamLease Services)
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Are you dealing with a tough boss? Are your colleagues being mean to you? Is your workplace culture hindering your growth? Is there anything that’s bothering you at work, which you’re wary of discussing internally? Talk to us. Our panel of experts will assist you in resolving your workplace related matters. ‘AdWise’ will appear on these pages every Thursday to help you with your workplace matters. Write to us at adwise@timesgroup.com

References

1. ^{^} 'AdWise' workplace counselling: 'I am being bullied, please help' (timesofindia.indiatimes.com)

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